Parental Safety Concerns And Forward-Facing Kids

carseatMy sweet Ezra had his 6-month well visit with our pediatrician last week. We praise God that he is still very healthy, strong, and happy. I’m not sure if other moms do this, but when I take Ezra for his check-ups, I also take a list of questions to ask the doctor. This time, my question list included things about tylenol dosage for a 21 pound baby (yes he’s that big), when and how to introduce solid foods to an exclusively breastfed baby, and what developmental milestones I should be expecting and helping him to meet right now. Then there was this question I had about carseats, and the answer I was given kind of surprised me in a good way.

I worded the question this way: “When is it okay to start forward facing his carseat? The law is age one and at least 20 pounds. Some research says it’s safer to wait until age two. Some says not to do it until age four. Is it really necessary to wait that long?”

He saved this question for last when perusing my list, and I think it’s because his answer for that one was carefully worded for a paranoid new mom like myself. This is what he said (I’m paraphrasing because I didn’t record it—that would have been weird—but this is as close to his actual words as I can remember):

“Okay, carseats. We live in a day where safety precautions has been crowned king above all other concerns. I grew up in a day where we were all thrown in the back of a Volkswagon and nobody even really worried about seat belts. Was that safe? Probably not. But people really just weren’t that worried about it. Today, the scare tactics used on moms is pretty intense. Would it be safer to make your 4 year old face the rear with his knees all up in his face because there’s no leg room? Yes, in the case of an accident that would probably be safest. But it would also be safest if you would stay in your house and not risk your child’s life by driving. You see, while it’s important to take safety precautions, it’s also good to use common sense. I think that the safety paranoia you see in our society is representative of the majority of people who don’t have Jesus in their lives. If this life is all there is, you’d better hold on to it and never do anything that might jeopardize it in the least because this existence is all there is of you. Make sure your children are physically safe on earth while not worrying so much about what is to come. As far as carseats are concerned, obey the law and then use your common sense after that. Ezra’s a big boy. He won’t be comfortable sitting that way when he’s 4. So, in a nutshell, yes, do your best to keep your children safe. But don’t live your life constantly in fear of what could happen.”

What he said got me thinking. It’s true that our society cares a lot about safety. I remember talking with my dad the other day about how my brother and I used to ride go-carts all the time, and now you can’t buy them anywhere because of the safety concerns. I also remember toys I used to play with like Polly Pockets that you won’t find today (except for those ridiculous giant ones) because of fear that children will hurt themselves with said toys. But is it possible that we’ve made physical safety our idol while ignoring the importance of the things that truly matter—of the eternal things?

  • Are we more concerned about making sure our children are wearing helmets when they are biking in the neighborhood than we are about making sure they are wearing helmets of salvation (Ephesians 6:17)?
  • Are we more concerned about the dangers of co-sleeping than we are about what our kids are learning during their awake hours?
  • Are we more concerned about keeping gluten at bay than we are about purposefully exposing our children to the Bread of Life every day? Is organic food more important to us than organic Christianity?
  • Are we more concerned about when we start solid foods than we are about making sure we build an appetite in our children for spiritual knowledge?
  • Are we more concerned about physical hygiene than we are about making sure their hearts remain spiritually pure and clean?
  • Are we more concerned about the pros and cons of “Attachment Parenting” and wearing our babies than we are about making sure our family unit wears the name of Christ in our community (by the way, our Heavenly Father is all about attachment parenting when it comes to the bond He has with us).
  • Are we more concerned about breastfeeding our babies than we are about feeding them the milk of the Word (I Peter 2:2)?
  • Are we more concerned about whether it’s okay to let our babies “cry it out” than whether we ourselves have cried out to the Father lately? Is sleep training more important to us than the “awake training” we’re doing with the pliable hearts of our children?
  • Are we more concerned about cloth diapering our babies than we are about girding their loins with truth as they grow (Ephesians 6:17)?
  • Are we more concerned about using “essential oils” than we are about making sure we are annointed with the Balm of Gilead?
  • Are we more concerned about when our little ones are mentally ready to be potty trained than we are about when our older ones are mentally ready to put on Christ in baptism?
  • Are we more concerned about having an all-natural birth than we are about being born of water and the spirit (John 3:5)?
  • Are we more concerned about whether or not to vaccinate our children against physical disease than we are about vaccinating our children with the Word against the sickness of sin?

It’s okay—even good—if you’re passionate about some of these physical things. I’m very passionate about some of these physical things. It’s not okay if you’re more passionate about physical safety and well-being than you are about the spiritual safety that comes with being in Jesus Christ, our Savior. Notice the root word of Savior. It’s “save.” The ultimate safety is placing your hand in the hand of Christ. We must be most concerned about saving our children in the most important way. We must be most concerned about saving our children eternally. In 100 years, none of the other things I’ve listed will matter. What will matter is that spiritual safety was our families’ primary concern.

“And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15



10 thoughts on “Parental Safety Concerns And Forward-Facing Kids

  1. In my 12 years of motherhood I have repeatedly had the very same thoughts and feelings you just wrote about in Ezra’s precious 1st 6 months. Thank you for reminding mothers that these years are fragile but more fragile in a spiritual way rather than physical. Loving and protecting them goes all the way into their young and tender hearts. Thank you, Hannah! 🙂

  2. This was a great article and I sure hope it hits the hearts of others how important God is in their lives. You are so right we worry about other things instead of being more concern in the spiritually welfare.

  3. Respectfully, this blog has a good overlying point, but I feel is missing a whole other section and it is somewhat conflicting. Of course we should rest all of our hope on the Lord’s will for keeping our children safe, but we are also responsible as their parents to do so to the best of our knowledge and abilities. In God’s sovereignty we are given the responsibility of keeping our children safe to the best of our knowledge and abilities. Safety or anything else for that matter should not be taken for granted in light of that responsibility. Including not playing in the street, washing our hands before dinner, and putting them in proper restraints while in the car. I am sad to see rear-facing car seats as being in the same category as “safety paranoia you see in our society today.” Your pediatrician touched on what was being done “in his day” but left out that cars were still made of metal then (not plastic) and weren’t driving down a highway at 70mph with Texas sized trucks and 18-wheelers. And also, a lot of children were critically injuried and died. Although he may be a FANTASTIC pediatrician and a stout believer in Jesus Christ (which is not always too common) he is not a pediatric trauma specialist and is missing a few key points in childhood safety. As a believer, a mother, and a pediatric trauma nurse practitioner, I urge you to keep your precious cargo rear-facing as long as his seat will allow. And as you said, continue to trust God in all things.

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